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The Cyber Lothario
|Are you writing
to someone who is romancing you off your feet? Does this guy
seem to know just what to say or write that gets you a step or
two further down the garden path?
Perhaps more dangerous than the notorious Internet rapists and murderers are
the Cyber Lotharios. Maybe you know one. Smooth as silk.
Seduction is his native language.
More dangerous, because these guys (well, maybe there are girls too, but I
am more familiar with the guys) are GOOD.
These guys are the Internet equivalent of a Bill Clinton, if Bill Clinton
hadn't gotten caught. They are the cyber version of handsome --
they write beautifully, know just what you want to hear and tell
you. They POUR it on, and for a thirsty woman, it is nectar from
These fellows post on dating sites indefinitely, waiting for the
unsuspecting newbie to the dating site. You might contact him,
he might contact you, but like a used car salesman, he knows a
pigeon when he sees one.
Then slowly, softly, but determinably, he has his way with you.
How do you tell if you have one of these guys on the wire? What if he is a
really nice guy, really meaning every word he says?
Well, one thing would be if you find yourself agreeing to things that you
never would if you were in your right mind. Particularly if that
has to do with sex. Or maybe money.
These guys make manipulation feel like a warm bath. You just slide right in
and it feels delicious.
But there is a certain vagueness, particularly about past relationships, and
perhaps about future plans. These guys may reassure, but they
also will leave themselves a way out.
How can you tell?
Well, one thing you can do is ask for a relationship history. Then pay
attention to how he responds, as well as what he actually says.
Does he groan and moan about doing the job? Is he grudging in what he tells
you? Or is he open and serious, understanding what you are
asking and why?
Does he seem to have trouble remembering his own history, what her name was,
what order the different relationships came in? Is he reluctant
to divulge, or does he sound like he is fudging?
Does he seem to be moving you fast towards a romantic getaway? Maybe he
makes plans for the two of you to meet, and reserves only one
room. Is he heavily sexually suggestive and titillating? Does he
ask questions like "What kind of lingerie are you wearing?"
Even though a new and legitimate relationship can be highly sexually
charged, a guy who is seriously interested in you and a possible
future with you will be protective and understanding of you and
If you feel antsy, pay attention. If your hormones may be doing your
thinking, put on the brakes. Better to let this dangerous Clark
Gable type swim away than to be left flat and busted.
Kathryn Lord © 2004 All Rights Reserved
About the author:
Kathryn Lord, Romance Coach / Helping Singles Find A Sweetheart!
eBk: "Find A Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women"
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