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You Come First!
|A selfish idea?
YOU come first? Hardly. The literature of all faiths urges
believers to care for themselves. For instance, the cliché “Love
thy neighbor as thyself” assumes that you first are able to
“love” yourself. Perhaps “love” is the wrong word these days.
The concept, however, is still valid. You can only care for
others as well as you know how to care for yourself.
Think for one moment. How many people rely on you? How many people are
affected by how you feel every day? Spouse, children, in-laws,
employees, co-workers? Even the check-out worker at the grocery
is influenced by how you feel as you pass through his or her
life. If you have not taken care of you, then all these
interactions can be negative or even hurtful.
Somehow we have in our society come to believe that to be a good person, we
must give, give, give. Time, energy, affection, money. It’s all
expected to flow out from us to others. Endlessly. The more we
do, the more we give, the better person we are. Or so we’ve been
trained to believe.
But emotional energy is like a bank account. One cannot continue to make
withdrawals and not expect the amount to shrink. What can we do
if the account is emptied? Then there is nothing left for all
those people who need that piece of us.
Only one person can make deposits in that emotional energy bank. You! That
is why YOU come first. You are responsible for keeping that
emotional bank full. Only you.
“YOU COME FIRST” urges a new concept: mental wellness. Most people think of
psychiatry as an experience to be had after a crisis. That’s
wrong. These days we eat healthy and exercise to avoid a heart
attack. We lose weight and stop smoking to prevent the stroke.
We should also exercise our emotions to determine how we can be
as emotionally healthy as possible. If we truly recognize how
important we are in our families and our communities, then we
will take the steps to examine the emotional side of our lives.
Counseling, massage, relaxation therapy, sleep assistance and
other tools are all a part of helping you understand that you
come first. This is not selfish a thought. It is, in fact, the
way you can guarantee that you will always be there to give to
those who need you.
About the author:
Debra S. Gorin, M.D. received her medical degree from the University
of Miami School of Medicine. She is a diplomate of the American
Board of Psychiatry and Neurology. She has been in private
practice as a Psychiatrist for the past sixteen years in the
Fort Lauderdale area. Dr. Gorin treats all types of
stress-related, emotional and psychiatric problems of children,
adolescents, and adults. She is also a trained hypnotherapist.
Visit her website http://www.doctorgorin.com to view her growing
library of psychiatric and health-related articles. Dr. Gorin's
weblog can be viewed at
http://debragorinmd.blogspot.comShe can be contacted at